What do you want to do with your life? (Part 2)
In the last post I talked about how after college I felt like my life was over. What I meant by that was, I felt like my life of knowing what to do was over. Everything seemed too open too endless. I had so much structure in school. Somebody asked something from me, I did it. I had to take a different class, I took it. After college there wasn’t someone to yell at me and push me in the right direction. Not that I would have worked well with someone yelling at me…. but I wanted someone to tell me where to go!
While I had myself a gap year in a sense (A gap year is similar to a sabbatical but it usually occurs after you turn 18 and looking to start college/university), I didn’t do anything particularly fun or learn anything new. One day at work I was fed up with my job because I wasn’t being promoted and knew that I finally had to do something. I needed to stop complaining, and start doing. I started massively applying to full time jobs because I wanted to move out of my parents’ house and I wanted to be more independent. Long story short after a few months went by, I finally got my “big girl” job. I said goodbye to the only job I have ever really known and started a new one.
It wasn’t long after my first “big girl” job that I bought myself a house. At age 24, I was freaked out and mildly panicked about what I got myself into. Having a house is great but it’s a huge responsibility. While I do get annoyed that I have to cut the grass, water the garden and pay for maintenance issues- it’s really rewarding and made me an adult almost overnight. If you get a mortgage and some utility bills, you can be a tad bit desperate for your college years. However, I feel like my purpose has become a bit easier to see, and I definitely know what I want in a home and what I can and can’t afford to do.
While my first “big girl” job didn’t work out, I kept trying for different ones until I got to where I am today. I still get that restless feeling every once in awhile. I sometimes feel alone, but I know I can always turn to one of my friends. It seems like while being a twenty something is fantastic for many reasons, finding and owning your identity is one of the longest but most rewarding steps in the process. I can’t say I don’t wake up every once in awhile and yearn for my school years, I entirely do, but having and 8-5 job everyday at least gives me the structure that I need. Every weekend is my dose of spontaneity, my mini mini vacation from my job and my duties.
If I’m ever having a really humdrum day I try to something that scares me or takes me out of my comfort zone. Example: What kinda scares me is initiating a conversation with a cute guy. Example: Something that takes me out of my comfort zone would be me telling someone a personal detail about myself that I haven’t shared with them before.
What’s something that scares you? What takes you out of your comfort zone?