I’m a fairly awkward person, but one of the most annoying things about my personality is that I can’t let things go. I have this tendency to relive awkward moments until I basically get annoyed with myself and focus all of my energy on something mundane or repetitive. I’m actually very social and while I don’t have problem starting or prolonging conversations if necessary, I have this tendency to make awkward situations more awkward then they already were. I keep holding onto the idea that I can make the situation better, when in reality I make it worse. Or I hold onto an awkward situation for waaayyyyy too long. Example:
I went to the gym with my sister who has a similar voice, we also tend to say the same thing at the same time. We were walking out of the gym when an employee waived to my sister and said have a good night. At the exact same time and in the exact same tone we said, “You too!” . I laughed and immediately said, “That was creepy.” The gym employee thought I was talking to him, but I was actually saying it to my sister….. In that half second I realized what I had said and tried to tell the guy what I meant but he ended up going into the employee lounge. I felt bad about it for a week.
Obviously, I know I spent too much time on a small conversation that went awry. I know and acknowledge how trivial it was but that’s how my personality works unfortunately. I don’t always hold on to conversations like that for weeks, but I will obsess over a problem or an awkward situation where I could have reworded or done something better. I think everyone does it to an extent, but I hate that sometimes I have to practically shut my brain off to stop thinking about it.
I have a terrible guilt complex and while I know I can’t make everyone like me, I often try way too hard and try to think of ways I can fix things.
Does this happen to you? How do you try to make it better?