Growing Older Comes With…. Insecurities?
When I was in high school, everyone told me that I would outgrow my insecurities. They told me that I’d be more confident in my appearance, be more loving towards my flaws and that I would be more confident about my intellect. I felt like this Mean Girls clip, except I was definitely not popular in high school. Over the years I do admit that I have a handle on these things. However, nobody told me that I would gain new insecurities. I thought that adults knew everything, and knew what to do. Sure, I might have an idea of who I am and where I want to go in life (Which is a first, believe me), but everyone is insecure. You don’t outgrow it!
Instead of being concerned about my appearance, I’m more concerned about my banking statements. Instead of wondering if I’m smart enough to get through high school, I worry about my work experience and if I’m good at my job. I constantly feel like I’m freaking out about something or the status of where my life is headed. How’s my relationship with my family, friends, or my boyfriend and does my boss think I’m a good worker? These are the things that I get all tangled up about. The only silver lining in all of this is that I know when I’m being annoying and insecure. I can be a brat and become incredibly inept at handling my situations just because I’m “having a moment”. However, I have the problem where I can’t get over myself in the moment. I realize how insane I’m being, but that doesn’t exactly stop me.
I like to think I’m incredibly self aware, but I have no follow through. I turned 27 in November and I think it has me all sorts of confused. I’m fine, I know that I will snap out of it and get on with my life, but I didn’t expect this age to hit me as hard as it did. One of the biggest steps to having a problem is admitting it, right? I believe that a lot of people are going through this realization…. well at least I am. This is why I titled my blog the way I did. I want to be an adult, I want to grow up. Hell, I’m Peter Pan’s worst enemy! I think this is a new step. I need to accept that insecurities, come with the territory. I have a great life, and now I need to live it. That’s the thing, going through adulthood doesn’t mean you’ve got it all figured out.
How do you deal with your insecurities?